Because the government is that smug guy at a birthday party who insists you open his last, because after his present is opened, all the others look like cheap little party favors from Kmart. He just wanted to give the best gift at the party. EVERYONE’S PARTY.
Wanting to be the attention hog on other people’s birthdays.
The worst thing about a selfish gift is when it’s indeed a very nice gift.
My life Florida version is not spicy enough so I got some Cayenne Pepper of course.
It was purchased less than 24 hours ago and I’ve already had so many opportunities to use it that it has joined the purse crew (wallet, phone, keys, glasses, cayenne pepper.)
-Cafeteria food, every day.
-Last night at girls night there was salsa and it wasn’t spicy………
-This morning at breakfast I had an omelet so, obviously.
It may only add to my vague eccentricity that I carry a bottle of Cayenne Pepper in my purse AT ALL TIMES but what can I say. To survive in the east, a New Mexican’s gotta do what a New Mexican’s gotta do.